Personal Arms of Irene Marie Polaris
Party per pale purpure and vert, a chevron inverted argent, in chief an apple argent
Party per pale purpure and vert, a chevron inverted argent, in chief an apple of the same. Motto: A banner skewed dexterwise with the words "DULCIS DISSONANTIA" tl;dr division of the field represents conflicting self; past and future. purpure represents death and trauma, vert life and vibrancy. white chevron inverted represents broken egg shell, coming out as trans. white apple represents the union of death and life, my symbol for God. motto represents the beauty of conflict. The division of the field represents my split nature as a person, having two incongruous selves, born of a lifetime in the closet, as well as two distinct periods in my life, before and after my suicide attempt in 2010 which left me with brain damage, memory loss and an altered personality. These two natures fight for dominance within the self and yet love one another; like a romance between past and future, mourning and sexual love. Purpure represents my relationship with trauma, abuse, and grief; mourning for the past. Vert represents my relationship with new life, birth, and wonder; exalting the world and the future. A white inverted chevron represents the breaking of masculinity and my dead self; the creation-through-destruction of my new, living self. Its appearance is meant to be reminiscent of a broken egg shell, which is a metaphor I and many other trans people use for coming out of the closet. My shell had to be broken in order for me to emerge from the comfortable inside into the outside world. I frame my act of suicide as an act of my dead self giving birth to my current self. This is what is meant by the white apple. It's a symbol of death also being a rebirth, as well as a reminder that evil can be hidden within beauty; the perfect union of death and life that bridges the incongruous natures like the spirit in the holy trinity. The motto means "sweet dissonance", and represents the beauty that exists in conflict and irreconcilability, as well as unconventional forms and metrics of beauty. It is skewed to represent my love of asymmetry.
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